29 Jun 15 Dumb Things You’re Doing That Hurt Your Marriage
People think, 'If we have enough money, we have enough love
You know that feeling when you can sense a fight coming on with your partner? You get that knot in your stomach, your blood starts to boil, and your mind races. It's okay to embrace the battle, according to relationship experts Dr. Judith Wright and Dr. Bob Wright - as long as you know what you're really fighting about.
"Fighting is so good because your relationship is about growing and becoming the very best person you can become. Fights are one of your best tools for learning," Judith tells GoodHousekeeping. "They're servicing a lot of your unconscious gunk. They're bringing problems up to the service. They're letting you know what you care about, what you really desire, what you really yearn for deep inside. They're teaching you so much."
The wrote a book on the topic, Heart of the Fight, out February 2. They break down the 15 most common fights - and what they really say about your relationship.
If you find yourselves blaming each other for who ruined the vacation or whose fault it was that you were late for the dinner party, your expectations are probably out of whack. "A couple like this has got some growing up to do to really be able to take more responsibility to go after what they need and what instead of just dumping it on the other partner 
," Judith says. "You've got to break this belief that your partner's supposed to make you happy. You probably have some fairytale-type expectations."
They advise: "Instead of assigning blame in arguments, figure out what you're so upset about, what went wrong, and how to change it now and in the future."
We all have these fights: You feel like your partner never does the dishes, or he's constantly leaving the toilet set up. As you probably guessed, it's never really just about that domestic dispute. "It may look like dirty socks on the floor, but you're feeling like the other person isn't appreciating your contributions," Judith says. "This is often the way power-and-control struggles play out in a relationship: trying to get dominance."