I wasn’t ready for a relationship, and maybe we could be together in the future, right?

13 Aug I wasn’t ready for a relationship, and maybe we could be together in the future, right?

Then I remember the day you told me you decided to start dating her

Either way, with heavy heart I told him I didn’t want to hold him back. He started hanging around her a lot. He still saw me, until one terrible night. I was getting increasingly emotional because of the turn of events in my life, my parents were divorcing right after my grandma died, my ex-boyfriend was still harassing me online, a couple of my good friends turned against me, and it was too much for my soft heart to handle. So, on a walk to BK one night, I broke down on a simple decision. To you, it looked like me unable to decide whether or not to go to Burger King or not.

But to me, it was deciding whether or not to stop at my house to get money, where my dad could be awaiting to see me walking alone with a boy. With this, he’d get angry at my mom for allowing this, and then my mom would get upset at me for passing off my dad. As the scene unfolded in my head, I broke down crying and you got frustrated, waiting for me to make a decision. When I finally chose to go back to his house, we chatted upstairs away from your brothers, and you asked me to just let it go, after my several attempts to get you to understand. So I did. Though in my heart I felt unsettled. We were never the same after that.

I don’t think you knew how much I loved you

You picked me apart, told me every little thing I needed to fix, etc. I was on my way to school when I got your text. I remember texting back “Okay. I also remember stabbing my finger with my pencil in first hour, willing myself to wait to break down, so I could just get to my friends. These scenes and emotions are triggered vividly in my mind, where I feel I’ll keep them for quite awhile still. After this we didn’t talk for a long time. We talked to others about each other. Me bursting with emotion, you appearing more cold. Seeing the pictures of you and her killed me.

You went to homecoming together. A picture of you kissing her came up, and I remember immediately bursting into tears. It was the same with the picture of you napping with each other, cuddling so close. I remember finally getting the courage to message you, only to have you reply with “We’re not best friends anymore. Or so I thought. I ran up to my mother, crying so hard and choking out the chicas escort Fayetteville NC words. It hurt more, because we told each other we loved each other, and I believed you and meant it with all my heart. But I don’t think you meant it in the way I did. We talk every once in awhile now.

But you’re not you. Over the year or so we stopped talking, you became someone else. You became a guy who was obsessed with how he appeared. You became hipster. You became a social chameleon, and now you have tons of friends who you keep on the surface, because I don’t think anyone really knows the real you anymore. I don’t even believe you do. You talk to me as if we never were. As if you never met me. And I’ve wanted to stop resisting and tell you I miss you so many times but I can’t. You’re not even you! In the slightest! I found out later what you used to say about me. It was almost as if saying all those things that were wrong about me was your way of be-ridding yourself of me, so you could move on to someone else.